i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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