so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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