Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
