just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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