ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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