Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
