You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize