I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
