Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
