i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
