Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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