I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
