is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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