Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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