We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
