But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
