I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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