I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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