What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
