Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
