Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
