I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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