Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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