1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
