I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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