EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize