so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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