Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
