that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
