guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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