brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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