my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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