there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
