Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
