Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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