You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
