Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
