Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
