end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Let's paint friendship bongs
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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