p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
NoShamevember. You game?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
