We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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