you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
