Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
