It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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