Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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