I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
