Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
