SEEEEXXX PLEASE
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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