Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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