College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
