do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
