Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
