Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
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