I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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