direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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