I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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