Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
