you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
