If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
