Duck Duck Cougar?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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