why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize