I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
