my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
